I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
