Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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