..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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