i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize