what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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