i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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