Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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