Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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