Slut skills are useful in every country.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
