He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
