all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
