sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
