butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
