we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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