he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
