just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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