I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Houston, we have a blender
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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