Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
