I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
