Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
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The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
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On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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