we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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