Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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