worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
