it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
