just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
