My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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