Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
