i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
