coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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