After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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