Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize