How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
