a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
