There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
