it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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