I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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