Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
