Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
