white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
