Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
