the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
it's great music for shaving your balls
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
