She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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