just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize