i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
