Pants 0. Shit 1.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize