Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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