I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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