My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Fuck appropriateness.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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