can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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