I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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