her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
