He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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