Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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