im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
