big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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