Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'd cum for enchiladas.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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