cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize