Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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