He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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